A fear of failure is rarely based on the actual negative consequences that may result from failing. Similar to any type of phobia, a strong fear of failure is generally the result of actively avoiding that phobia i.e. avoiding the experience of failure. For example, if you are afraid of heights, you experience relief every time you avoid situations of high altitude. Problematically, this reinforces your phobia and makes it even worse than before. Why? Because when you encounter phobia "X" and avoid phobia "X," you experience relief in fleeing phobia "X" because nothing bad ultimately occurs. Thus, next time you encounter phobia "X," your first instinct will be to repeat your usual action - avoidance - and feel relief. To get over a fear of heights, spiders, etc., you need to repeatedly face that fear head-on. Through continual exposure, you will realize that the risk is minimal and nothing bad will likely happen. The fear will slowly subside and eventually disappear.
In everyday life, people often avoid taking action and risks because they fear the dangers of failure. From an evolutionary perspective, this attitude makes sense. Prehistoric man needed to avoid a number of situations to survive -- his fear was very genuine and real. But the things people avoid now – mainly social and economic risks – are rarely, if ever, life threatening. Most modern day fears are completely artificial (in terms of physical and mental danger). Would it really be that bad to speak up in a public forum? What could happen? If you ask somebody out and they say “no,” so what? If you lose your job (especially if you do not have a family), is this really the end of the world?
Instead of avoiding failure, you need to constantly take risks and experience failure. Continually experiencing failure will result in two tangible benefits: (1) you will realize that failing isn't actually that bad and (2) you will reap the benefits of taking more chances i.e. more successes and experiences. Those who have failed the most are often the most confident because they realize failure isn’t that bad. Things will be okay; failing merely creates another opportunity. Constant excuses are often empty rationalizations rooted in fear.
Many people spend their whole lives waiting for a time when there won’t be a lot of risk, or they reach point “X” in their life. This is a fool’s game. Point “X” will never be as good as you thought it would be. If you haven’t dealt with your philosophy of life, you will just find something new to worry about and consume your existence. There is no “end game” or “ultimate point” in life. The key is to enjoy the process and embrace the risk; understand that you can handle chaos and things falling apart. This will free you to take the good with the bad and not constantly "cling on" to life with both hands shaking.
*Disclaimer: All of this assumes the “risks” you are taking are not inordinately dangerous to your health or safety. But this is certainly not to say that you should avoid all risks to your health or safety. Better to live a full, short life than a long, wasted life.
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