For most people, the goal of life is to be happy. Ideally, one would be happy, ethical, and productive. The trouble is: how does one become happy? And, is happiness merely a natural disposition, or can one “will” themselves to be happy?
If one seeks to be happy in the long term, seeking short term pleasures will almost never work. Prolonged happiness is a state of mind, not an individual experience.
Happiness is closely tied with confidence. When one is genuinely confident in themselves, they will generally be happy. How does one gain confidence? Confidence comes through goal accomplishment – one needs to set long and short-term goals that are not too hard, but not too easy, and then repeatedly accomplish these goals. This will create actual confidence.
Problematically, most of our time is spent pursuing goals, not accomplishing goals. So we need to not only set and accomplish the right goals, but we need to find goals in which we will enjoy the process of striving for those goals. Otherwise, we are either in pain striving for goals we don't have or bored because we are not striving for something.
Therefore, we need to set a number of goals in which we enjoy the process, and then balance the goals against each other to make sure we are spreading ourselves adequately in every area of life (physically, mentally, spiritually, economically, etc.). This is not easy. A further wrench in the equation is that as we grow older, accomplish goals, and have more life experiences, the goals we desire change and the relative enjoyment we get from striving for certain goals will evolve. This is why life will always be complicated and shifting.
Depressed people tend to look at this situation and see it as a never-ending game that can’t be won. But this perspective need not be taken. The dynamic nature of goal setting and personal evolution is what makes life always interesting – and leaves virtually an infinite amount of room for growth and fulfillment. Our perspectives shape our reality, and thus shape our experience.
The next question becomes: can we control our attitudes and perspectives? And, if so, how? That question is for another day...
Great post! Looking forward to more. Maybe only some of us can control our attitudes and perspectives. I know a lot of people who cannot. I guess im guilty of not being able to control my attitude from time to time tho....
ReplyDeleteI find this post to be incredibly on point and very useful. However I'm not entirely sure I agree with the relative significance given to goal achievement. I would agree that it can result in actual confidence and play an actual role but I think there is another crucial aspect involving identifying the experiences that you truly enjoy while also being able to avoid those that you don't. This includes being able to weed out those who you don't want to interact with or being able to control/define those interactions. This notion of knowing what makes you happy and often more importantly knowing what makes you unhappy (or the 27 other emotions often tied to that unhappiness such as anxiety, guilt, self consciousness, etc.).
ReplyDeleteSo while I see goal accomplishment as a central role, the idea of controlling your experience and being able to identify what in your life produces the emotions and experiences that cause you to lose control over your attitudes and perspectives seems separate and important.
Good point. I should have been more careful in explicating what I mean by "goal."
ReplyDeleteI'm using the term "goal" in an extremely broad sense. A "goal" may be to quit hanging out with people you despise, sleep more, not falling into the same old traps, etc.
I don't think this broad interpretation renders the understanding of "goal" meaningless. This is because our behavior is often aimless and reactive i.e. goalless behavior.
The broad interpretation is a good one, though also points out the need to have different types of goals. As you said in your original post, good goal setting will seek to address physical, mental and spiritual well-being.
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